It is that time of the year again when we start thinking of family traditions. Halloween is just past and Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Then of course it will be time to get ready for Christmas. Like in all families, each of these holidays has its own traditions. Take Thanksgiving for example, we always have turkey even though some of us don't really care for it. Our favorite meal when we all get together is a brisket dish that I prepare. It takes two days and everyone loves it. So one Thanksgiving, I decided to have brisket instead of turkey. I thought everyone would be pleased. especially my daughter who loves brisket but does not like turkey. Oh no. She was horrified we had to have turkey, it's tradition.
Christmas too has many traditions that cannot be broken. We always go to our daughter and son-in-laws for Christmas Eve. We have a smorgasbord of hor dourves to eat which must include certain items to please certain family members. We always watch The Christmas Story and we always play a game. My husband and I open our gifts from our children and the cousins exchange gifts. But the rest of the gift giving is reserved for Christmas morning after Santa has come.
Christmas day is always at our house where we open gifts and have a full dinner. People come and go all day long.
But of all our traditions, Cookie Baking Day is everyone's favorite. I don't remember how it got started but like Topsey, it has grown and grown. It takes place on a Saturday before Christmas and everyone comes, from the oldest to the youngest. Two years ago the oldest was Nanny Helen and the youngest was Hadley who was just three months old at the time. Hadley is now two and Nanny Helen passed away at age 95. However, the tradition goes on. This year our oldest will be my husband Ron at 76 and the youngest our great granddaughter Finley who will be six months old.
Cookie Baking Day is sacrosanct. I remember when our granddaughter Nicole had just started a new job a few years ago. On the day she was hired, she told them that she had to have the Saturday of cookie baking off. This year we have a three year old great grandson who can't be with us for Christmas but we are doing everything we can to make sure he is here for cookie baking.
The day starts around seven for me. I get all the ingredients lined up, crush the peppermints and nuts, soften the butter, line the cookie sheets with parchment paper and get ready for the chaos. Now less you think all the cooks are the ladies in the family, you are wrong. Sons and son-in-laws, grandsons, and nephews are right in the thick of it too.
We bake about 14 kinds of cookies. We roll balls, we dip, we cut,we decorate. There are cookies on every flat surface. The kitchen is a disaster and the noise level compares with a rock concert. I am exhausted but I dare not show it because I am already called the grumpy elf.
We usually finish around six or seven that evening though there are still bar cookies to cut and trays of cookies to be made up for gifts. But for all intents and purposes, Cookie Baking Day is over for another year. There will be stories to tell of today, the mishaps, the adorable little ones making their first cookies. We will be reminded of the Cookie Baking Days of the past, the people who are gone but not forgotten. It is a tradition that I keep saying I am getting too old to continue. I tell my daughter that she will have to take over, but I know in my heart that will not happen for few more years. She is not ready for the tradition to end and neither am I.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
OBSERVATIONS
There is so much talk lately about the importance of getting enough sleep. According to researchers, sleeping the correct amount of time each night can prevent obesitity, prevent certain diseases, and increase your brain power. But is this news really new? Remember the aphorism, "Early to bed, Early to rise, Makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise?" That saying has been around forever. Apparently our forefathers knew something that we are just now learning.
This made me wonder what other aphorisms might apply to our lives today. What about "An apple a day, keeps the doctor away?" We are reminded constantly about eating fruit and vegetables every day. Some researchers are convinced that we would all be healthier if our diets were more plant based, if we ate more foods in their natural state. That too goes back to our forefathers.
And what about wine? Remember "A little wine for your stomach's sake." I think that actually comes from the Bible. So those who tell us that having a glass of wine is good for our health are only repeating something that has been known since Bibical times. There are also passages in the Bible about laziness and gluttony, topics that are current in today's headlines that tell us that Americans are overweight and need to eat less and exercise more. So all those researchers are not telling us anything new, they are just reminding us of things that have been known for centuries. Think of all the money that could have been saved if they had just listened to their grandmother's wisdom.
Another observation. Have you noticed that when you make a purchase these days, the salesclerk doesn't tell you how much you spent. She tells you how much you saved. At first it was just one or two stores, but now it seems to be everywhere. Go to the grocery store and you will save $45. At the department store, you save $129. The hardware store does the same thing. I have saved so much money this month, I am thinking about buying a new diamond ring.
I have observed lately that there does not seem to be any place to go that is quiet and peaceful. A place where all you hear are birds, crickets, bees buzzing the normal sounds of nature. No matter where you go, you hear people talking on cell phones, typing on laptops, or playing music on their Ipods. What has happened to silence? Remember "Silence is Golden?" Ron and I sit on our front porch in the cool mornings and evenings. All of a sudden we hear someone talking loudly and look out to see a walker going down the sidewalk having an argument on a cellphone. Even at the beach, you can hardly hear the surf for the sound of cell phones ringing. We need to bring back those silent moments. We would all be less stressed and maybe we could start thinking again. We need thinkers. That is how problems get solved. That is how great inventions are discovered. We need to stop the chatter and listen to our inner beings and to each other. Just an observation.
This made me wonder what other aphorisms might apply to our lives today. What about "An apple a day, keeps the doctor away?" We are reminded constantly about eating fruit and vegetables every day. Some researchers are convinced that we would all be healthier if our diets were more plant based, if we ate more foods in their natural state. That too goes back to our forefathers.
And what about wine? Remember "A little wine for your stomach's sake." I think that actually comes from the Bible. So those who tell us that having a glass of wine is good for our health are only repeating something that has been known since Bibical times. There are also passages in the Bible about laziness and gluttony, topics that are current in today's headlines that tell us that Americans are overweight and need to eat less and exercise more. So all those researchers are not telling us anything new, they are just reminding us of things that have been known for centuries. Think of all the money that could have been saved if they had just listened to their grandmother's wisdom.
Another observation. Have you noticed that when you make a purchase these days, the salesclerk doesn't tell you how much you spent. She tells you how much you saved. At first it was just one or two stores, but now it seems to be everywhere. Go to the grocery store and you will save $45. At the department store, you save $129. The hardware store does the same thing. I have saved so much money this month, I am thinking about buying a new diamond ring.
I have observed lately that there does not seem to be any place to go that is quiet and peaceful. A place where all you hear are birds, crickets, bees buzzing the normal sounds of nature. No matter where you go, you hear people talking on cell phones, typing on laptops, or playing music on their Ipods. What has happened to silence? Remember "Silence is Golden?" Ron and I sit on our front porch in the cool mornings and evenings. All of a sudden we hear someone talking loudly and look out to see a walker going down the sidewalk having an argument on a cellphone. Even at the beach, you can hardly hear the surf for the sound of cell phones ringing. We need to bring back those silent moments. We would all be less stressed and maybe we could start thinking again. We need thinkers. That is how problems get solved. That is how great inventions are discovered. We need to stop the chatter and listen to our inner beings and to each other. Just an observation.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
NEW BEGINNINGS AGAIN
My great grandson Kael starts kindergarten in two weeks. My great grandson in school, I can hardly believe it. It is a new beginning for him, but for me, it is a ritual that I have participated in many times.
I don't remember my own first day of school, but I remember my youngest sister's for several reasons. It was very traumatic for her. She was a beautiful little girl with long curly strawberry blonde hair. The newspaper published a picture of her sobbing. I remember it too, because I was called out of class to come comfort her. The strange thing is that I remember that better than the first day of school for my own three children.
I have the pictures of each of them dressed in their new outfits standing outside the house before leaving for school. We always went on vacation in August so their new vacation clothes served as their new school clothes. I remember the fun of shopping for school supplies as I mentioned in an earlier post called "The New Pencil Box."
If I remember correctly, the schools did not send home a list weeks ahead of time like they do now. For a kindergartner now, there is a list of over 25 items some very specific as to brand and type. It gets worse as the grades progress. For my kids, I remember the pencil boxes. Do they even make pencil boxes any more? I'm sure my children did not have backpacks until they were in junior high.
My children were lucky. They did not have to be bussed to school. We lived just down the street from the grade school. They were even able to walk to their middle school. Of course, that was a disadvantage when my oldest son decided one day in second grade that he had had enough school and walked home.
Later, when my grandchildren started school, (where do the years go?) my participation was limited to helping with the new clothes and school purchases and enjoying vicariously the stories their parents told.
Now a great grandchild. The world comes full circle. I may be around to see a great great grandchild if I'm lucky, but I doubt I will be participating in the back to school ritual. It is just one of the many rites of passage we enjoy if we are lucky enough.
I don't remember my own first day of school, but I remember my youngest sister's for several reasons. It was very traumatic for her. She was a beautiful little girl with long curly strawberry blonde hair. The newspaper published a picture of her sobbing. I remember it too, because I was called out of class to come comfort her. The strange thing is that I remember that better than the first day of school for my own three children.
I have the pictures of each of them dressed in their new outfits standing outside the house before leaving for school. We always went on vacation in August so their new vacation clothes served as their new school clothes. I remember the fun of shopping for school supplies as I mentioned in an earlier post called "The New Pencil Box."
If I remember correctly, the schools did not send home a list weeks ahead of time like they do now. For a kindergartner now, there is a list of over 25 items some very specific as to brand and type. It gets worse as the grades progress. For my kids, I remember the pencil boxes. Do they even make pencil boxes any more? I'm sure my children did not have backpacks until they were in junior high.
My children were lucky. They did not have to be bussed to school. We lived just down the street from the grade school. They were even able to walk to their middle school. Of course, that was a disadvantage when my oldest son decided one day in second grade that he had had enough school and walked home.
Later, when my grandchildren started school, (where do the years go?) my participation was limited to helping with the new clothes and school purchases and enjoying vicariously the stories their parents told.
Now a great grandchild. The world comes full circle. I may be around to see a great great grandchild if I'm lucky, but I doubt I will be participating in the back to school ritual. It is just one of the many rites of passage we enjoy if we are lucky enough.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
THE PERILS OF PARKINSON'S
My husband Ron has Parkinson's as many of you know. He was diagnosed a couple of years ago, but the doctors think he has had it for several years. Parkinson's has been around since ancient times. There are several symptoms, tremors, muscular rigidity, slowness of movement, (more about that later) and impaired balance and coordination. Those are the motor functions. There are also non-motor functions such as memory impairment, dementia, hallucinations, and acting out dreams. There is no cure for this insidious disease just a slow disintegration of mind and body.
Ron is on a variety of medicines that keep him fairly stable. Other than the tremors, his two main symptoms have been a complete slow down of his physical functions such as dressing or performing any activity like showering, eating etc. It has become kind of a joke in the family that when we get up in the morning, I can practically clean the house in the time it takes for him to get shaved and dressed for breakfast. I have to laugh or I would just get to impatient with him and I don't want to do that.
The other symptom that bothers him is short term memory and confusion. His long term memory is phenomenal. He can replay ball games from high school but he can't remember day to day moments. He also cannot correctly process conversations. He gets things scrambled.
But on the whole, he is handling the disease well. Our family is very protective of him always making sure he doesn't fall. They persuaded us to go to Florida for the winter so he wouldn't have to worry about the snow and ice. So it is kind of ironic, that the first fall occurred last night when he fell out of bed. Parkinson's patients have a tendency to act out their dreams especially early in the morning during deep REM sleep. Ron has had this symptom for several months now. He will thrash and fight and yell. I usually wake him up when that happens, but I was sleeping soundly when I heard this loud thud. He had fallen flat on his face on our hardwood floor. He was bleeding from a bump on his forehead and his nose. He is fine but has been very shaky all day. We talked about getting a rail for his side of the bed but have decided to just put the extra pillows down on the floor for now.
I walk a fine line between coddling him and encouraging him. He has days where he worries about what comes next and other days where he is happy go lucky. Humor and exercise seem to work best for keeping him on an even keel. We try to get out and walk every day. I encourage him to teach the little guys how to play baseball. I order him books from the library and I am encouraging him to use the computer. We have a couple of trips planned for late summer because we both love to travel. And the benefits of travel stimulate the mind.
I am writing this blog to help me keep track of his progress and to relieve some of my stress. So until next time I'm keeping the good thoughts.
Ron is on a variety of medicines that keep him fairly stable. Other than the tremors, his two main symptoms have been a complete slow down of his physical functions such as dressing or performing any activity like showering, eating etc. It has become kind of a joke in the family that when we get up in the morning, I can practically clean the house in the time it takes for him to get shaved and dressed for breakfast. I have to laugh or I would just get to impatient with him and I don't want to do that.
The other symptom that bothers him is short term memory and confusion. His long term memory is phenomenal. He can replay ball games from high school but he can't remember day to day moments. He also cannot correctly process conversations. He gets things scrambled.
But on the whole, he is handling the disease well. Our family is very protective of him always making sure he doesn't fall. They persuaded us to go to Florida for the winter so he wouldn't have to worry about the snow and ice. So it is kind of ironic, that the first fall occurred last night when he fell out of bed. Parkinson's patients have a tendency to act out their dreams especially early in the morning during deep REM sleep. Ron has had this symptom for several months now. He will thrash and fight and yell. I usually wake him up when that happens, but I was sleeping soundly when I heard this loud thud. He had fallen flat on his face on our hardwood floor. He was bleeding from a bump on his forehead and his nose. He is fine but has been very shaky all day. We talked about getting a rail for his side of the bed but have decided to just put the extra pillows down on the floor for now.
I walk a fine line between coddling him and encouraging him. He has days where he worries about what comes next and other days where he is happy go lucky. Humor and exercise seem to work best for keeping him on an even keel. We try to get out and walk every day. I encourage him to teach the little guys how to play baseball. I order him books from the library and I am encouraging him to use the computer. We have a couple of trips planned for late summer because we both love to travel. And the benefits of travel stimulate the mind.
I am writing this blog to help me keep track of his progress and to relieve some of my stress. So until next time I'm keeping the good thoughts.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Karma
We are leasing a condo in Florida that has been up for sale for three years. It is in a wonderful location but we have had a few problems that made us decide not to lease it again next year. One of the long time renters in the complex heard that we were looking for a new place. He told the owner of one of the units who had just found out that her long time renters would not be able to come back next year. She only rents to people she knows but she had heard such nice things about us that she offered us the condo. The best part is that we will have none of the problems we have had with this one and the price is $1400 a month less even though the units are exactly the same size.
The karma part is that this condo which has been on the market for three years sold yesterday, so without the new condo we would have been out of luck.
Another example of karma or as I like to call it serendipity involves our mail. We found out after arranging for our mail to be transferred here that the owners would not allow us to receive mail, We were told that they had lost the key to mail box and didn't want to replace it. So we had to rent a post office box. We had been waiting for baseball tickets to arrive for a couple of weeks. I had made several calls and was told that we would have them by last Saturday, so today we went out to our PO box. No tickets. When we got back I called the ticket office and spoke to several people who promised to look into it ASAP.
About an hour later, there was a knock on our door. When I answered it, a mailman was standing there. He asked if I was Mrs Kane. I said, "Yes I am." He then asked why we hadn't been getting our mail out of the mailbox. My jaw must have dropped a foot. I explained about the key and he said that was crazy. He had been putting mail in the box since early January. I said I wonder if our tickets are there and he said. "Yes they are because I am an Oriole fan and if you hadn't picked them up soon, I was going to use them. We had a laugh about that. Then he unlocked the box and gave us two months of mail including the tickets that I had spent the morning trying to track down.
Maybe it wasn't karma but it certainly was unusual that he would knock on our door the day we instigated a search for the tickets.
I started this blog before we left Florida three months ago. I never finished it. Since then, another example of good karma involving baseball tickets occurred. Those of you who know my husband Ron, know that he is a die hard Oriole fan. This year the Orioles are unveiling statues of their Hall of Fame players. Ron's favorite player Brooks Robinson's statue was to be unveiled with special ceremonies in May. I bought tickets for us to go. We were going to fly up and spend five days. I got a hotel on the waterfront (non-refundable which I didn't realize).
To my dismay, the date for the unveiling was changed to September because Brooks is ill. So I had to reschedule our flights, change our hotel reservations and switch the baseball tickets from May to September. I was not a happy camper. First the airline tickets cost more. Then I discovered the hotel was non-refundable but after giving them my sob story and talking nicely to a manager, I was able to switch the dates at no additional cost.
Then the baseball tickets. After making the other changes I discovered that the date of the unveiling was on Sat Sept 29 and Sunday was the last home game of the season. So I couldn't exchange six of the ten tickets I had. But the Orioles graciously refunded the other tickets and the refund more than covered the extra cost of the airline tickets. But now the serendipitous part. Since the Brook's statue will be the last one unveiled, we will get to see all the other statues. And it is fan appreciation weekend, so they are doing giveaways at both games. Ron is thrilled and I am happy for him.
I don't think I am any luckier than the average person but there have been so many instances of unplanned happy circumstances in my life. One of our favorite trips was full of serendipitous moments. We were driving from Boston through Maine and Nova Scotia. We spent a night at Bar Harbor and decided to stay another night. The hotel clerk said they were booked solid and every hotel around was the same way. So we started walking away when he got a phone call and yelled at us to wait. He had a cancellation and we got a room for that night. The whole trip was that way. When we got to Halifax, we went for a walk through a little park to stretch our legs. We met a lady who asked us if we were going to see the Buskers. We had no idea what she was talking about, but it turned out that the Buskers are street entertainers that come in from all over Canada and England. They were there that week for a big street fair. It was wonderful. Again we were just in the right place at the right time. Call it what you will, I call it serendipity.
Another year, we went to Paris. Once I had scheduled the trip, I was looking through some of the literature and I read a tip not to schedule your trip for July 14, it is Bastille day the equivalent of our July 4th. Of course, that is the exact date we were arriving. When we got to our hotel we found out that there were ceremonies and fireworks that night at the Eiffel Tower. So we walked with thousands of people down there and watched the ceremonies. Though we don't speak French, it was very moving. There were people of all nationalities there. Everyone was very polite and respectful. We walked back to the hotel feeling lucky to have been able to participate. Another serendipitous moment. What if I had panicked and changed the date of our arrival? Look at what we would have missed.
Maybe you just have to be open to opportunity. I know when something goes wrong there is usually a bright side if you look for it. I'm not a Pollyanna (does anyone even know what that means anymore) but I do think attitude makes a big difference in how you deal with the unexpected twists life can hand your way.
We met a couple on the beach one day and had a conversation about the unusually warm winter. When she found out it was our first winter, she said we must have good karma. I told her we were lucky that way. She said we must give good karma to have good karma. I hope so.
The karma part is that this condo which has been on the market for three years sold yesterday, so without the new condo we would have been out of luck.
Another example of karma or as I like to call it serendipity involves our mail. We found out after arranging for our mail to be transferred here that the owners would not allow us to receive mail, We were told that they had lost the key to mail box and didn't want to replace it. So we had to rent a post office box. We had been waiting for baseball tickets to arrive for a couple of weeks. I had made several calls and was told that we would have them by last Saturday, so today we went out to our PO box. No tickets. When we got back I called the ticket office and spoke to several people who promised to look into it ASAP.
About an hour later, there was a knock on our door. When I answered it, a mailman was standing there. He asked if I was Mrs Kane. I said, "Yes I am." He then asked why we hadn't been getting our mail out of the mailbox. My jaw must have dropped a foot. I explained about the key and he said that was crazy. He had been putting mail in the box since early January. I said I wonder if our tickets are there and he said. "Yes they are because I am an Oriole fan and if you hadn't picked them up soon, I was going to use them. We had a laugh about that. Then he unlocked the box and gave us two months of mail including the tickets that I had spent the morning trying to track down.
Maybe it wasn't karma but it certainly was unusual that he would knock on our door the day we instigated a search for the tickets.
I started this blog before we left Florida three months ago. I never finished it. Since then, another example of good karma involving baseball tickets occurred. Those of you who know my husband Ron, know that he is a die hard Oriole fan. This year the Orioles are unveiling statues of their Hall of Fame players. Ron's favorite player Brooks Robinson's statue was to be unveiled with special ceremonies in May. I bought tickets for us to go. We were going to fly up and spend five days. I got a hotel on the waterfront (non-refundable which I didn't realize).
To my dismay, the date for the unveiling was changed to September because Brooks is ill. So I had to reschedule our flights, change our hotel reservations and switch the baseball tickets from May to September. I was not a happy camper. First the airline tickets cost more. Then I discovered the hotel was non-refundable but after giving them my sob story and talking nicely to a manager, I was able to switch the dates at no additional cost.
Then the baseball tickets. After making the other changes I discovered that the date of the unveiling was on Sat Sept 29 and Sunday was the last home game of the season. So I couldn't exchange six of the ten tickets I had. But the Orioles graciously refunded the other tickets and the refund more than covered the extra cost of the airline tickets. But now the serendipitous part. Since the Brook's statue will be the last one unveiled, we will get to see all the other statues. And it is fan appreciation weekend, so they are doing giveaways at both games. Ron is thrilled and I am happy for him.
I don't think I am any luckier than the average person but there have been so many instances of unplanned happy circumstances in my life. One of our favorite trips was full of serendipitous moments. We were driving from Boston through Maine and Nova Scotia. We spent a night at Bar Harbor and decided to stay another night. The hotel clerk said they were booked solid and every hotel around was the same way. So we started walking away when he got a phone call and yelled at us to wait. He had a cancellation and we got a room for that night. The whole trip was that way. When we got to Halifax, we went for a walk through a little park to stretch our legs. We met a lady who asked us if we were going to see the Buskers. We had no idea what she was talking about, but it turned out that the Buskers are street entertainers that come in from all over Canada and England. They were there that week for a big street fair. It was wonderful. Again we were just in the right place at the right time. Call it what you will, I call it serendipity.
Another year, we went to Paris. Once I had scheduled the trip, I was looking through some of the literature and I read a tip not to schedule your trip for July 14, it is Bastille day the equivalent of our July 4th. Of course, that is the exact date we were arriving. When we got to our hotel we found out that there were ceremonies and fireworks that night at the Eiffel Tower. So we walked with thousands of people down there and watched the ceremonies. Though we don't speak French, it was very moving. There were people of all nationalities there. Everyone was very polite and respectful. We walked back to the hotel feeling lucky to have been able to participate. Another serendipitous moment. What if I had panicked and changed the date of our arrival? Look at what we would have missed.
Maybe you just have to be open to opportunity. I know when something goes wrong there is usually a bright side if you look for it. I'm not a Pollyanna (does anyone even know what that means anymore) but I do think attitude makes a big difference in how you deal with the unexpected twists life can hand your way.
We met a couple on the beach one day and had a conversation about the unusually warm winter. When she found out it was our first winter, she said we must have good karma. I told her we were lucky that way. She said we must give good karma to have good karma. I hope so.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
BUCKET LISTS
Do you have a Bucket List? I never thought too much about it until recently. It seems everything you read or listen to lately has a connection to someone's bucket list. I guess I don't have a bucket list because I always joking said I wasn't going anywhere when my time came. I have way too much living to do to even think about dying.
But now I find myself thinking about what I would put on a bucket list. I am not a physical type person so I don't plan on climbing Mt Everest. I can barely climb stairs. My younger sister told me to stop climbing like an old person. Well, I have news for her. I am an old person, and I've always been afraid of stairs. I certainly have no desire to jump out of an airplane. I grip my husband's hand on take offs and landings as it is. When it is bumpy, I look around to see if any one else is worried. So there is no grand physical accomplishment in my future.
Oh I make physical goals. Last winter, my goal was to walk from one end of the beach to the other. Did it. Another was to walk across the bay bridge both ways. Did that too and felt pretty smug about it.
I love to travel and have been lucky enough to see most of the places I wanted to see. There are a few that are still on my list like Australia and New Zealand. But I am not sure I could endure the long flights. One of the trips that I have always wanted to take (so maybe a bucket list item) is a train trip through the Canadian Rockies. We are doing that in September.
I know people who have travel goals such as seeing all the baseball parks or all the botanical gardens. But that is too regimented for me. I like to decide on a whim where my next trip will be.
There are loftier goals that I could set like being remembered for my good deeds, but I will be the first to admit that I am too selfish to be a true do-gooder. I am not willing to sacrifice my time and energy just to be honored on my death. I am a haphazard volunteer, helping out when it suits me. I have volunteered quite a bit over the years, but on my terms.
I have many goals for my family. I would like to see them happy and financially secure when I leave this earth (not yet please) but I have found out over the years, that is not in my control. I can contribute to their happiness, and Lord knows, I have contributed to their finances. But in the end, it is up to them. You cannot will someone to be happy, and I have come to the conclusion that some people will never be financially secure.
So I guess my bucket list is short. I want to live out my life relatively healthy. And I want to have my husband around so we can continue to travel, enjoy each other and our family. I am blessed to have a life that leaves me wanting very little and believe me I thank my lucky stars every day.
But now I find myself thinking about what I would put on a bucket list. I am not a physical type person so I don't plan on climbing Mt Everest. I can barely climb stairs. My younger sister told me to stop climbing like an old person. Well, I have news for her. I am an old person, and I've always been afraid of stairs. I certainly have no desire to jump out of an airplane. I grip my husband's hand on take offs and landings as it is. When it is bumpy, I look around to see if any one else is worried. So there is no grand physical accomplishment in my future.
Oh I make physical goals. Last winter, my goal was to walk from one end of the beach to the other. Did it. Another was to walk across the bay bridge both ways. Did that too and felt pretty smug about it.
I love to travel and have been lucky enough to see most of the places I wanted to see. There are a few that are still on my list like Australia and New Zealand. But I am not sure I could endure the long flights. One of the trips that I have always wanted to take (so maybe a bucket list item) is a train trip through the Canadian Rockies. We are doing that in September.
I know people who have travel goals such as seeing all the baseball parks or all the botanical gardens. But that is too regimented for me. I like to decide on a whim where my next trip will be.
There are loftier goals that I could set like being remembered for my good deeds, but I will be the first to admit that I am too selfish to be a true do-gooder. I am not willing to sacrifice my time and energy just to be honored on my death. I am a haphazard volunteer, helping out when it suits me. I have volunteered quite a bit over the years, but on my terms.
I have many goals for my family. I would like to see them happy and financially secure when I leave this earth (not yet please) but I have found out over the years, that is not in my control. I can contribute to their happiness, and Lord knows, I have contributed to their finances. But in the end, it is up to them. You cannot will someone to be happy, and I have come to the conclusion that some people will never be financially secure.
So I guess my bucket list is short. I want to live out my life relatively healthy. And I want to have my husband around so we can continue to travel, enjoy each other and our family. I am blessed to have a life that leaves me wanting very little and believe me I thank my lucky stars every day.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Multi-tasking
We have heard that term for years now and we are familiar with the meaning. Women these days certainly seem to be accomplished at multi-tasking though the experts tell us that it is not possible to successfully do more than one thing at a time. Ha, tell that to mothers who have been doing it since time immemorial. Any woman who works and maintains a home knows how to multi-task.I do the normal tasks that it takes to run a house, be a wife, a mother, a grandmother, and a hands on great grandmother. I am also a travel agent for the trips we take, a banker, a secretary, and an artist. All of this is pretty normal with one exception, I am not content to read one book or plan one trip, or paint one picture at a time.
It started with reading. I must have at least three books going at one time. People ask me how I keep up with the plots and the answer is I don't really know, I just do. This has been going on as long as I can remember so for me it is normal.
When I started painting, I began working on a couple of paintings at a time. Pretty soon, it was three or four. Currently, I have four paintings in various stages of completion.
My husband and I love to travel and I love to plan our trips. We usually take a couple of trips a year. As soon as I have all the plans completed for one trip, I start working on another. I usually have plans for the current year and the following one. Maybe I should have been a professional organizer. The funny thing is I absolutely hate for anyone else to make plans for me. I will not commit to anything where I have to be somewhere once a week or once a month. No bunco or bingo clubs for me. I don't even make my hair appointments in advance. I just call when I'm ready. It is really funny when you think about it. I will go on a two week cruise planned by me, but won't go to my neighbors to play cards once a month.
So maybe my having multiple things going at the same time is a control issue, a way to make sure that my time is under my command only. Who knows? Whatever the reason it works for me.
So all you multi-taskers out there, don't let any so called experts tell you that your brain is not capable of doing more than one thing at a time. We know better.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
THE MEANING OF FRIENDSHIP
My daughter understands how important it is to have and maintain friendships. She learned that more from her Dad then from me. It is something it has taken me a lifetime to learn.
By nature, I am more of a loner. Though I enjoy people, I am not always willing to invest the time it takes to be a true friend. I have a tendency to be stingy with my time. It is something that I have worked to overcome as I grow older.
On the other hand my husband has friends that go back to his childhood as well as new friends he has made. He is a great "people person."
Our daughter is the same type of person. She and her best friend met when they were six months old. We were neighbors and they grew up playing as we mothers talked. Over the years they have become as close as sisters. Like sisters, they have fought, stopped speaking to each other only to make up and become closer. They have survived marriage, divorce and remarriage for both of them. They have shared great sadness. Our daughter watched her friend have children and sadly was unable to conceive. So she became a beloved aunt to her friend's children. With her second marriage she became a mother to two stepson's who she loves like her own. She now has a wonderful grandson who she adores. Through it all they have been there for each other.
They even share a birthday month and in March they will be turning 50. How many people can say they have been friends for 50 years?
They call themselves Lucy and Ethel and to be honest some of their escapades would make great TV. They are such complete opposites in looks and in lifestyles, that it makes you wonder how their friendship has endured.
I am driven to write this blog because last night while I was sleeping my cell phone went off. My daughter had sent me a picture of her and her friend at a club where her friend's son's band was playing. A picture of two smiling women enjoying being together. It made me think of the years of friendship and all the pictures over the years. Though the faces have aged (very little), the love and joy in each other still shine through.
My daughter has many friends. Like her dad she still keeps up with friends from her school years and from her work. She and her husband collect friends where ever they go.
Friendships take work, dedication, tolerance and time. But my daughter knows that they are necessary to a full life. I admire that and aspire to be more like her.
By nature, I am more of a loner. Though I enjoy people, I am not always willing to invest the time it takes to be a true friend. I have a tendency to be stingy with my time. It is something that I have worked to overcome as I grow older.
On the other hand my husband has friends that go back to his childhood as well as new friends he has made. He is a great "people person."
Our daughter is the same type of person. She and her best friend met when they were six months old. We were neighbors and they grew up playing as we mothers talked. Over the years they have become as close as sisters. Like sisters, they have fought, stopped speaking to each other only to make up and become closer. They have survived marriage, divorce and remarriage for both of them. They have shared great sadness. Our daughter watched her friend have children and sadly was unable to conceive. So she became a beloved aunt to her friend's children. With her second marriage she became a mother to two stepson's who she loves like her own. She now has a wonderful grandson who she adores. Through it all they have been there for each other.
They even share a birthday month and in March they will be turning 50. How many people can say they have been friends for 50 years?
They call themselves Lucy and Ethel and to be honest some of their escapades would make great TV. They are such complete opposites in looks and in lifestyles, that it makes you wonder how their friendship has endured.
I am driven to write this blog because last night while I was sleeping my cell phone went off. My daughter had sent me a picture of her and her friend at a club where her friend's son's band was playing. A picture of two smiling women enjoying being together. It made me think of the years of friendship and all the pictures over the years. Though the faces have aged (very little), the love and joy in each other still shine through.
My daughter has many friends. Like her dad she still keeps up with friends from her school years and from her work. She and her husband collect friends where ever they go.
Friendships take work, dedication, tolerance and time. But my daughter knows that they are necessary to a full life. I admire that and aspire to be more like her.
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